We hear so much about how we go from victim to survivor and then, ultimately, we think about down-the-road when the day will come when we will be thrivers.  We have all survived something and sometimes many things – various abuses, divorce, traumas, a car crash, and – of course – our childhoods.

I think that we all identify ourselves as survivors of something but that we see thriver as a goal that we might obtain one day if we’re lucky and we work on it really, really hard.  I had my epiphany about this one day in therapy when I said to my therapist: You know, for many years I have been working on going from victim to survivor to thriver.  I guess I’ve always believed that I have to be perfect before I can say that I am thriving – you know – perfect job, perfect home, perfect relationship, etc. But actually, where I am right now – no relationship, unappreciated at work, so-so home – this is all thriving.  I am thriving because there is no such thing as perfection. I know that, and I’ve always known it, but my mind still tricks me into thinking it’s obtainable.  But right here, right now, I’m thriving.  My life is rich and juicy and stressful and sad sometimes, but I’m thriving because I am constantly moving forward.

It was such a relief to start the process of letting go of the whole “perfectionism” thing that society, and we, puts on ourselves.